Sarah Speaks: Singleness in a Relationship-obsessed Society

/ 3:37:00 pm
Photography by Ruth and Blessing Audu

I have spent most of my life as a single gal. I've had moments where I felt sad that I was missing out and then others (more commonly) when I didn't care at all. Back then, everyone seemed to have a problem with my singleness, which is one thing I could never understand. I remember back then when I had just moved to Thailand, I was in grade 10 (SS1) and the first question I was asked was "do you have a boyfriend? "Me boyfriend? for what? "

I honestly never saw the need to date, I wasn't mentally ready and didn't see anyone of potential plus I never believed in dating for dating sake.  It's weird not being single anymore, I kinda miss it sometimes but do I regret waiting? Nope!


I saved myself unnecessary stress and time. I've had laughs over people's foolishness. I have gotten so comfortable with myself, being alone, knowing how awesome I am. 

What I will say though, is that there ain't nothing wrong with being in a relationship. Relationships are nice, love is sweet oh. It's nice having that special someone to rant to after a long day... And it's totally normal to want to feel loved, we all need a little extra loving.


I just feel that relationships are great but only when right. I think it's better to be alone than to be with someone who's not even worth it. Aint no point wasting time with a person who is only going to stress you.  When it's right it's right. What are your thoughts?
Happy Valentines Day, I hope you felt loved. If not, love yourself. God loves you too and you'll find that special someone.

This post is coming late but I got together with fellow Abuja blogger, Lailah Moon to shoot content for Galentine's Day, which is just a day on the 13th for gals and singles to hang out with their friends. This collab was supposed to include more bloggers but.....(next time).

I hope you are all well I promised I haven't abandoned you guys, the truth is with recent developments in blogging and Instagram taking over, I find that I am not as gingered as I used to be to blog. 

Let's stay in touch
Photography by Ruth and Blessing Audu

I have spent most of my life as a single gal. I've had moments where I felt sad that I was missing out and then others (more commonly) when I didn't care at all. Back then, everyone seemed to have a problem with my singleness, which is one thing I could never understand. I remember back then when I had just moved to Thailand, I was in grade 10 (SS1) and the first question I was asked was "do you have a boyfriend? "Me boyfriend? for what? "

I honestly never saw the need to date, I wasn't mentally ready and didn't see anyone of potential plus I never believed in dating for dating sake.  It's weird not being single anymore, I kinda miss it sometimes but do I regret waiting? Nope!


I saved myself unnecessary stress and time. I've had laughs over people's foolishness. I have gotten so comfortable with myself, being alone, knowing how awesome I am. 

What I will say though, is that there ain't nothing wrong with being in a relationship. Relationships are nice, love is sweet oh. It's nice having that special someone to rant to after a long day... And it's totally normal to want to feel loved, we all need a little extra loving.


I just feel that relationships are great but only when right. I think it's better to be alone than to be with someone who's not even worth it. Aint no point wasting time with a person who is only going to stress you.  When it's right it's right. What are your thoughts?
Happy Valentines Day, I hope you felt loved. If not, love yourself. God loves you too and you'll find that special someone.

This post is coming late but I got together with fellow Abuja blogger, Lailah Moon to shoot content for Galentine's Day, which is just a day on the 13th for gals and singles to hang out with their friends. This collab was supposed to include more bloggers but.....(next time).

I hope you are all well I promised I haven't abandoned you guys, the truth is with recent developments in blogging and Instagram taking over, I find that I am not as gingered as I used to be to blog. 

Let's stay in touch
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ankara African print in a nigerian market
ankara African print in a nigerian market
ankara African print in a nigerian market
Ankara prints in a Nigerian market, I couldn't think of a better duo. There's something quite vibrant about our ankara African prints which just makes them so perfect or should I say befitting for your typical Nigeria market. While chaotic and a little stressful, there is just something quite pretty and artistic about the arrangements of fruits, vegetables, the partition of shops and the haggling of prices in a market. 

As the first collaboration of the year, I thought to bring in my girl Vanessa of Style by Ohaha, for a burst of African prints. Be sure to stop by her blog for the rest of the jist. So what goes on in a Nigerian market and how did this idea come about? Read below....


To tell you the truth,  I detest going to the market. I know I'm not alone in this. The chaos albeit artistic is not something I enjoy nor the haggling of prices as I'm not the best bargainer. But it's home to all the fresh and needed ingredients to make my tummy happy so I go. It was on one of these occasions that I thought to myself, how beautiful would it be to do an ankara shoot in the market. I've always wanted to do one actually so I put it out into the universe (my Insta Stories) and started planning. To tell you the truth I didn't expect the responses I got. An overwhelming number of fellow creatives showed interest in this but given the limits of the market, I and Vanessa simply went ahead. Our photographer, the amazingly talented, kelechi Orode was ready and at some point, we even got a designer until it didn't work out. 

So what's it like shooting in a Nigerian market?
Well from the stares from passersby, the kindness and willingness of some traders who offered permission to shoot, to compliments and questions from well-wishers, frowns from unconvinced traders (who kicked us out,) we saw it all. If anything I walked away with a lot of broccoli and beans lol, being a customer was my means of getting permission to shoot. All things being considered, I must admit that I'm quite pleased with the outcome of the shoot. Could it have been better? Yes of course. Would I do it again? Maybe

Now head over to Vanessa's blog, Style by Ohaha for her take, she's an amazing writer so you'll love it!
Photography by kelechiorode

I'm actually wearing two separate pieces in this look. I layered my sister's ankara skirt (styled here) over a dress (previously styled here) and then I got a black rope to cinch in my waist and bring the entire look together. It's funny because my sister and I shared 6 yards of fabric and got three pieces out of it, a dress for me and a skirt and top for her. Which brings me to my theory that your average Nigerian tailor either steal materials or wastes it. 

Over to you, would you shoot in a Nigerian market? What's your favorite thing about going to the market? Thoughts on ankara in a Nigerian market? I'd love to know!

Let's stay in touch
hotels in Abuja, the Envoy hotel
hotels in Abuja, the Envoy hotel
hotels in Abuja, the Envoy hotel
I spent some time at one of Abuja's finest hotels, the Envoy hotel by Mantis, last year. Everything about this hotel screamed luxury from the decor, the chandeliers (pictured above) to even the elevators and the service by the security and reception. I never got around to posting about it because I lost most of my pictures but after being able to recover some and pulling a few from my camera roll, I thought to jist you all about my 24-hour staycation at the Envoy Hotel Abuja.

The Rooms
The Envoy Hotel has 59 luxury rooms. We checked into the standard room which offered a nice view of the swimming pool (not pictured) and settled in.
hotels in Abuja, the Envoy hotel













The Restaurant: Larai Restaurant 
 Larai Restaurant at the Envoy hotel is where we had lunch, dinner, and breakfast. For lunch, we started with an appetizer, a remixed shrimp cocktail and Beef fillet with mushrooms, all prepared by Chef Joseph. The shrimp cocktail was literally a burst of different flavors, I loved it! It was my favorite dish. Now the beef fillet was so tender and the incorporation of our very own local waterleaf into the dish was pretty cool. 

Tonye has a more detailed review here of the restaurant, check it out. On the next day of our stay, we were served a beautiful breakfast buffet spread. Breakfast is one of my favorite parts of staying at a hotel but in my haste out as I was rushing to work, I couldn't take a proper picture of everything or even be my regular foodie self. The breakfast spread had everything from foreign to our very own Nigerian breakfast dishes. 

Vandos Bar
There was just something about the Vandos Bar at the Envoy hotel where we had cocktails after dinner. 

Check Out
I definitely slept like a baby (the beds were so comfy) and after breakfast the next day we checked out. It was truly a wonderful 24 hours living the baby girl life. 
Photography by Blessing Audu and myself

If you ever find yourself in Abuja, do stop by the Envoy hotel. The Envoy Hotel is located at Number 305 Diplomatic Drive, Central Business District, Abuja. Need more information? Head over to their website!

This staycation was in collaboration with Abuja Blogger, By Tonye, the Envoy hotel, and Bookings Nigeria.

Let's stay in touch
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top

Dramatic sleeves such as bell sleeves, bishop/billow sleeves, and flared sleeves have to be one of my all-time favorite trends. Now I don't know about you but when it comes down to my sleeves I like them a little extra. Dramatic sleeves are actually one of the ways I employ to dress modestly and fashionable

 Today I'll be talking about four ways that I styled this dramatic vintage billow sleeves top which costs me N3,000. Here's what I did, I purchased the fabric from Nyanya Market for about N1,000 and got it tailored by Porshher for about N2,000. I asked for dramatic sleeves and I got drama, I love it!

Look 1
Look one is your typical corporate look for the office. I paired the top with a pair of black culottes and gold pumps. 

abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
Culottes: Thrift || Shoes: Shoe Shop Ng || Bag: Mom's Closet 

Look 2
Thought I'd add some colour so I paired it with these purplish pink trousers and a beret. I really wanted to tuck in the shirt but these pants came with the worst camel toe ever, I was so disappointed but I've been making it work by pairing it with longer tops. For my shoes, I kept it simple with my go-to pair of heels, my mules. This would be my go-to casual look for a weekend get together or outing.
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
abuja blogger princess audu styles dramatic sleeve vintage top
Mules: Beaufeet Ng || Beret: Vintage Closet 9ja || Trousers: House of Zarad

The other two ways I've styled this dramatic sleeve top (not pictured) was one, with a pair of blue jeans and yellow mules for a more casual look; two with a pleated midi skirt paired with mules or court shoes.
Y'all know I'm all about versatile pieces that can be worn over and over again for various functions. Which is why the best shopping tip or advice I'd give is the importance of investing in versatile pieces,  Trust me that will save you a lot of money and space from clothes you don't wear. So the next time you want to buy something, be sure to ask yourself how you'd style it. 

What's your favourite look? How would you style this top? What's your best shopping tip?

Let's stay in touch
abuja fashion blogger in twenty six polka dot trend
abuja fashion blogger in polka dot trend
abuja fashion blogger in polka dot trend
Happy New Year beautiful people!

I've been thinking of how to start my first post of the year and as inspired by Ijeoma Kola, rather than list out my resolutions or plans for the year, I thought I'd talk about the two things I want to do differently this year. 
2018 for me, was just there, and while I did okay with some of my goals, I actually failed woefully in others as I said in my 2018 recap post. This year, we try this again and do it differently too.

1. Being intentional/consistent
Looking back at last year, inconsistency and not being intentional is one of the reasons I didn't achieve my goals. I didn't set out an action plan or even access what I was doing wrong but this time we change this. We plan, stay consistent, write it out, assess progress and make changes where
necessary. 
abuja fashion blogger in polka dot trend
abuja fashion blogger in polka dot trend
abuja fashion blogger in polka dot trend
Photography by Blessing Audu

2. Prioritize Better 
I often find it hard to prioritize thus I take on more tasks than I can handle, end up burnt out and unproductive. I want to start saying no to certain things, take more time to rest, reduce my waka waka (spend more time indoors). This means fewer blog posts too, we all know blogs are slowly dying so I'll be taking a step back as I work to post helpful and relatable content less frequently. I hope to spend more time in the real world slaying my goals as opposed to mindlessly scrolling through my Instagram page, neglecting my reading or devotionals as I stress over the algorithms or poor engagement rate.

This year we try again and we excel!

I'm wearing a polka-dot dress made in Nigeria by Twenty Six, a brand I've closely followed since my earlier blog days and am excited to be collaborating with. Twenty Six has really come a long way, from only skirts to a wide range of products. The dress costs N7,500 and I wish I went up a dress size for a better fit. The fabric is of good quality, I love the dots of course and the red detailing in the pocket and neckline (my brother called it Gucci lol). Just thought to add that the fabric does not stretch so keep that in mind if you do decide to order. 

Dress: Twenty Six || Shoes: Jumia 

What things are you doing differently in 2019? Can you relate to any of mine?

Have a glorious new year!

Let's stay in touch

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