DOES THE WAY YOU DRESS REALLY MATTER?





Photography by Ruth Audu 

I have always been a bit conservative in  my choice of clothes and I'm sure you've all noticed that. This is just how I was brought up. I grew up in a strong Nigerian Christian home and I'm so thankful for that. When it came to clothes, we were not all allowed to wear sleaveless,  backless,  short or tight-fitting clothes. Even now my parents still squint or complain when I go against some of these codes but they're slowly letting go. 

My upbringing has had a huge impact on my sense of style which is mostly conservative. While I don't dress for others, the way you dress determines the way people treat you.  When I wore this outfit out,  annoyingly I got a lot of attention from guys.  Yes the skirt is more fitted since the last time I wore it here but the thigh slit is a tad too high. Which is why I've decided I won't be wearing this skirt anymore. 

I like the respect I get, which is why I dress the way I do. Lord knows I have had my share of days wearing crop tops, short shorts but I'm so over that. I could go on on the religious side of this topic but I'll save that for another day.

Skirt: Thailand | Shirt: Thrift Store | Heels: Zalora Thailand 

I know everyone won't agree with me but I would like to know your opinion on this,  does the way you dress really matter?

23 comments:

Buiti Christian said...

lol same goes for me.... I have been tagged conservative dresses, church look etc all that was before. Now people appreciate my look and like it.
Dressing sure say alot even before you speak. so why let your dress speak so loud?
fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

@Buiti agreed, I love you last sentence. I'll be quoting you, thanks.

Penelope White said...

I think a lot of women fear they will lose male attention if they dress more modestly. I have been intentionally modest for more than 10 years and I still get loads of attention. But the attention is different now. It's respectful attention.

madlenka said...

I'm a Christian as well but when I think about it I don't think my motivation to not wear too short/fitted clothes comes from that. I used to wear those tight mini skirts and short shorts when I was about 17 (not to get attention though, just because I liked it) but my figure has changed a bit since then. Not that I consider myself fat, not at all, but I just wouldn't feel good wearing short things anymore. Now I'm more into looser fits, and above-the-knee shorts and skirts. Skinny jeans are still my favourite though. But as I think about it, I also wouldn't feel good in those things because they would make me feel cheap and wrong. So I guess the change comes from multiple places.
I think the way you dress says a lot about you (sometimes, first impression can be crucial) but at the end of the day, it's not the thing that really matters. When you get to know someone, it's not really important what they wear for you to become friends.
x

Alma Ojugbana said...

Oh yes. The way one dresses matters a lot and with age and maturity, my style evolved too. I am an advocate for decent dressing and it doesn't make me look less sexy or feminine. As a matter of fact, it keeps guys guessing.
www.thestylecheapskate.blogspot.com

En_kay said...

I love conservative dressing...for me I believe being covered up is my own way of letting people know they can still look good without showing off so much.not that i judge anyone.for me there's something "sexily decent" in being covered up and I love your blog because of the fact that you still look good without showing so much.

Stylebyenkay.blogspot.com

Bash Harry said...

I was raised like you in that sense. I was raised conservatively, and that's why I wear a lot of clothes that cover my arms, and generally my whole body. I don't particularly mind though, since I feel most comfortable covered than showing more. I still think you look beautiful in this outfit, heck I think you would look beautiful in any outfit <3

xx Bash | Bash Says Hey | bloglovin'

Wenluditoh Daniellah said...

I always find your dressing very descent!!! and again it really does not matter as long as you are comfortable in it and know the best time to wear it, As we grow older there are things that the future won't allow us to do some of these things.... I can only say be young an wear what you feel like, this is th time lol
Happy new Month!

Http://www.fashiongalorelovers.com

Cassandra Ikegbune said...

But this skirt is perfect! Doesn't even look like anything that should but people see what they want to see . Even when I wear oversized shirts and baggy pants , guys still call and look at me in that ungodly manner

www.cassiedaves.com

Diane A said...

I'd say the way you dress can matter but it shouldn't. Not everybody that wears shorts or form-fitting stuff is looking for attention, and not everybody that wear conservative clothes is actually a more respectable person. It's true that appearance matter unfortunately and people with less clothes are going to be judged but I feel like at the end of the day, if you don't know the person personally, you can't really judge. Speaking about myself, I like to wear bright stuff, I like to play with colors on my hair, wear unconventional lip colors, I wear sometimes shorts and stuff, but I actually hate being the center of attention. It's quite paradoxical but yea lol. Also I have quite wide hips so no matter what I wear it's always "there" lol. Now guys are guys, it's true that if you dress more modestly you won't get as much "negative attention" but they'll talk if they want to, no matter what you wear.
Anyways I think you look great, I love the skirt!
xx

MELODY JACOBS said...

lovely shirt, i love the camo color
NEW POST: http://melodyjacob1.blogspot.com/2015/06/violets-are-blue.html

Wanjiru Ng'ethe said...

In my opinion it really does matter, its the first statement explaining who you are ...
you look good :)

www.wanjiruwangethe.me.ke

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

@Penelope, I agree but any sensible women would know that that's not the kind of attention to seek after. I know I don't want my appearance to be the sole focus.

@Madlenka yes mode of dress should not be a determinant in telling who a good friend is but it is a part of it. "Show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are". As for the religious side, I believe culture plays a role as well. In Nigeria for example Christians are quite conservative to the point that some churches don't allow their members to wears trousers. While in my church in Thailand there was a more relaxed dress code. Some ladies even wore short skirts and shorts to church.

@Alma yes to keeping guys guessing.

@En_Kay "modest is indeed the hottest"

@Bash I feel you girl. I am definitely more comfortable when I'm covered. Thank you

@Wenluditoh I do agree with you that this is the time try certain things but one should still exercise wisdom.

@Cassandra yes the skirt looks decent but when I walk the slit does ride up and guys will be guys

@Diane I do agree with you we should not be judged based on our appearance but sadly that's just how things are. And yes, not everyone is looking for attention but that's how they are perceived which is why I like to set myself apart. As for your hips, I totally understand. Since gaining weight finding the right balance between modest and provocative has not been easy. As you said guys will be guys.

@Wanjiru yes girl it is the first impression.

Alena Vorontsova said...

Great look!) www.elationofcreation.com

damie alabi said...

I also I'm quite reserved with my dressing.
The outfit looks really Good on you.....I will definitely rock this soon.

www.damiesdiary.com

Anna Martin said...

You look spectacular in that skirt. Perfect bag! <3

By the way, I ended up taking the opposite route. Coming from a strict, conservative, Jamaican household, I wasn't really allowed to express myself at all via my opinions or my clothing choices. It was stifling. So, I definitely think that my style was influenced by my lack of freedom to choose and to discover who I really am. I'm still trying to figure out that latter bit, so it doesn't surprise me that my style is completely different from day to day, week to week. It's all about that journey and unfortunately, I didn't have the kind of parental unit that nurtured that. I had to look within myself and draw upon the strength of close friends to get that self-confidence.

- Anna

www.melodicthriftychic.com

Verona Selasie Nortu said...

I agree! The way you dress really does matter; them days of short shorts and crop tops are long gone. I really love this post
Veronaselasienortu.blogspot.co.uk

linet nkirote said...

There's just something about conservative dressing, as long at its stylish, it speaks volumes about a woman. I really don't think it's about religion, its a personal decision to wear whatever you feel.....but that's just how I feel. What you wear does matter especially when you don't have the chance to express your inner character, people will often judge you by what you wear....but once you speak and let out your inner self, it becomes easier to understand a persons dress code.
Having said that, the skirt is gorgeous.....if only there was a way I could get it now that you are not wearing it anymore. Love the shoes too...and the hints of jungle with the shirt.

http://pearlsprettyskin.blogspot.com/

Chineze Anigbogu said...

I love your skirt and I love the slit, but like you I'm mostly a conservative dresser. I dislike having to wade off male attention. My Christian upbringing may have a part in my dressing, but I think it's more the spirituality I observe than religion.
I love your sharing this post.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

@Anna well I think you look confident in all your outfits and you are always fully clothed, maybe it's not intentional but I love it.
@Veronica yes girl, thank you
@Linet while religion may not be the reason for everyone I do think it has an effect in choice of dress but as you've said it could be a personal choice. Lol I would send the skirt to you but I left it in Malabo.
@Chineze you do have a point, I believe it's the spirituality since not all Christians are modest in their dress.

Simply Uneeke said...

The way you dress do determine the kind of attention you get. I grew up covering my body too but now i do so because i feel am too tall so i dont like short things, they end up being too short. And i dont also wear show back or crop top or all that because i just dont like showing skin, plus i feel kinda fat.

www.simplyuneeke.com

www.eclecticstyle.me said...

Really lovely post! Btw I think you have the little resemblance to Stella of Jadore fashion.
As regards conservative dressing, the comments are awesome in this post, I think I agree with if not all. Too much sense in the comments. I am naturally conservative too as it just is based on how comfortable I am, because how I feel after putting on an outfit is super important. I remember when I'd never imagine wearing a crop top, but at the moment I'm loving them, as there are comfortable ways wearing one anyway. Naturally, conservative dressing exudes class, I love the mystery behind it too. Amazingly you can look way too good conservatively dressed. I mean, too many options! Hehe. Nevertheless I admire those who can wear clothes that I am not comfortable wearing if they exude class while at it. Aura/confidence says a lot too. As long as it isn't a cry for attention then to each his own. No room for judgement "shrugs"

www.eclecticstyle.me

Anonymous said...

don't give up on the skirt - it's gorgeous!! you can take it to a seamstress and have a panel put in. you can play with material and color and actually jazz up the skirt while making it more modest :-)

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