THE TRUTH ABOUT ADULTING + DIY ANKARA VEST

 Happy new month my beautiful and ever loyal readers!
It's been quite a while guys, can't believe I have not even opened my blog for the past few days, wow. Consistency as a blogger takes a lot of planning and when one fails to plan properly, disappearing acts are bound to happen. 

And I apologize for that guys. Please stick till the end of this post for an update of new posting schedules which I will stick by, I promise!


So the other day I was thinking of rewinding the clock of life to five years ago when I was seventeen and constantly telling people I was twenty something because most people always thought I was older than I looked. Honestly, with my twenty third birthday just around the corner (September baby), I can't help but feel so old. This adult thing is really not all I was made to believe it is guys, it's hard!

At seventeen life was definitely a lot easier. All I had to do was go to university, get good grades which I did quite well and then go shopping. Now it's all so different. Recently the feeling of getting old really sunk in and I'm going to tell you why.

1. The Responsibilities 
The other day my mom listed out grocery items and simply said these are the things you'll buy once you get paid. I honestly don't know why I was surprised because my mom has been dropping hints ever since (typical Nigerian mother). I'm not sure if she's serious but we'll see. I've basically got to be responsible. No more asking for things or relying on others, one has got to get her life together.



2. The Aunty Greetings
Children now greet me with "Aunty" or "Ma" and I answer normally and even expect it. In the past this made me feel so old but now it just feels like a right of passage. Now, for my international readers, in Nigeria we generally greet our elders either with  "Aunty" or "Ma", it's a sign of respect actually.

3. The Marriage Talk
And can we talk about Marriage, dating and relationships especially in this part of the world. Every where I turn, all I hear is marriage. Everybody is just out there getting married and having babies which is great actually. People are either advising me to get married rather than pursue my graduate studies or people are asking me "what are you waiting for" when I say I'm not ready for marriage.

 The pressure hasn't gotten to me yet. Marriage is definitely in the plan but not for now. I just have to deal with people and of course mom who has been dropping hints. In the meantime, I'll just keep praying for future hubby, God's will for my life and life partner basically.

It's funny to think I was in such a hurry to grow up when I was younger but now I've realized they lied to us! As I said in my Sarah Speaks I wasn't really missing out on anything spectacular in adulthood.

Photography by Beniboba

Now onto the outfit. These pictures were taken last year towards the end of my service year in Calabar. I actually made the pencil skirt and Ankara vest during my sewing days which I can't wait to get back to. The skirt wasn't perfect as you can see but I was so proud because it was my first DIY sewing project. The Ankara vest which I did a better job at was styled here in my collab with Alma. 

How do you all deal with getting older? Can you relate with some of my reasons? What makes you feel old? How do you all deal with the pressures of marriage? Any funny stories about your Nigerian or African mothers? I'd love to know guys!

And before I forget, new posts will now drop 2-3 times a week on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Also Sarah Speaks will now fall randomly during the week as it's slowly becoming a favorite.

Don't be a stranger, talk to me!

27 comments:

Dive Into Mauve (anthoniaokokon@gmail.com) said...

Girl. I can totally relate to inflating my age when I was younger. Mine was because I grew up around people who were a lot older than I was and I couldn't just wait to get there. They kept telling me to slow down and now I realize why. I just turned 25 and I honestly don't know how I feel about that. Thankfully my folks are not pressuring me to get married just yet but the societal pressure is just enough.


Don't get me started on being responsible. I have to pay rent now, buy my own food, pay my hospital bills etc. Mahn! I wish i was still 16. Lol.

Demilade Aina said...

Aww I enjoyed reading this Sarah. And you're lowkey scaring me because I'm only 18 and I already feel old. I guess it's only going to get worse lol. Honestly not looking forward to this adulting life. At church little kids tend to call me Aunty and I'm always like who's your aunty lmao? Please don't call me that.

I like the fact that you're focused and you know exactly what you want Sarah, you'll be okay :)
PS: Cute outfit, love the shoes!
Coco Bella Blog

Amaka said...

Ah, yes, the fears that come with growing up. I've always been scared of growing up, that was why I found myself crying like I had heard I only had a few months to live when I turned 16. I felt like I was losing my grip on youth, losing hold of the rope of stability only to be thrown into the chaos that was adulthood. Now, I'm 19, and there's still a sadness that lingers every birthday. No major responsibilities yet though!

Why are we kids for such a short while and adults for way longer? No fair! Lol. What I keep at the forefront of my mind, is that I have to try and make the most of it. I have to try and take actions that will make the future something to look forward to.

I like how candid you were with us in this post, and I like the vest! I have that fabric but in blue, never knew it came in different colours lol! I made a peplum top with it (sewn by me also)! Didn't know you used to sew, thats pretty awesome!

Chai, responsibilities should leave me ooooo for now. Adult money should come, but adult wahala should stay away haha. Anyway, loved the post!

mindofamaka.wordpress.com

Collins Badewa said...

You hit the nail on the head! I was thinking about all these when I clocked 20. And no jokes, the responsibilities have increased. A lot of people have started looking up to me for advice and a lot of things and sadly I still feel like a baby. The other day, my mum was talking to me over the phone about how I'll soon reach the age of being responsible for myself and how I have to start making grown up decisions now. It's really scary knowing you're no longer that small kid. But then again it's also very promising.

THE STREET HAUTE 

Sheyla said...

My mom did the same thing to me when I got my first corporate job. Your mom means it - trust me. Let's face it now that we're older we must help out our parents as much as we can because they deserve. Use this time to sharpen your grocery shopping skills! I still keep one of the grocery shopping lists my mom gave me back in the day, its become my basics grocery list hahahahaha. Your mom is training you for the future when you move out on your own.

Nowadays, I try to shut people's pressures out. I'm now living life for me and seeing others remarks about myself as opinions or constructive criticisms. At the end of the day its your life and everyone's path is different from one another. Walk at your own pace Sarah, don't let anyone rush your greatness.

You will find your lover, career and successes when the time is right.

God bless you.

xoxo,
Sheyla G.
www.freestyle-moda.com

Sheyla said...

Don't be scared, its ok to feel unprepared. We will never be perfect at doing things just go with the flow. And when you feel like you do not know how to advise someone either tell them straight up that you "don't know".

Also you can ask someone else (who might be older than you) for advise too, after all that's how it's supposed to be right?

xoxo,
Sheyla G.

Author said...

ugh being an adult is so d*** hard! I myself feel like I wanna go back to myself when 17 years old when I didnt have to think about anything!



http://www.thequinoxfashion.com/

Favour Ndukwe said...

This is so cute.. you're getting old :D lol
Don't worry all is well. I'm just 17 and I'm taking my time. As for the responsibilities, they help to make one 'responsible' so in a way, it's a good thing.
The marriage factor tho.. my sister is not yet 23 sef and they've started with her.
Just have fun and pursue your dreams.
<3
www.girleccentric.wordpress.com

gaadi Abigail said...

hay God! Being an adult is no mean feat jare. Especially in Nigeria where we can barely get jobs or any serious responsibilities in our teens until maybe after uni and all. The society we grow up in hardly encourages adulting, but suddenly expects us to start acting mature and independent, its scary. But we will be okay, we have to deal with it regardless hehe

Sharron Mungazi said...

hahaha Sarah I promise you its not just Nigerian mothers, even here in Zim. I think its an 'African parents' thing and somehow its the norm. Somehow its a good thing because you are quickly pushed to become responsible. The aunt greetings are the weirdest, Oh Lord! Like at times I just freeze, not knowing how to respond. As for the marriage talk, lets just say I have become a pro in dogging that question. Its adulting for sure.

I love the outfit.Your sawing skills are definitely on point. I wish I could learn how.

deffinatlyshaz.co.zw

Audrey A said...

I feel the same way as you but I don't let it bother me.

I see my school mates from ten years ago having kids and getting married (I'm 26 now) but the right time will come for me.

The best advice is not to rush and enjoy your life before relationships and marriage because it might not be the same again.

Evita O. Enwefah said...

Hi Sarah. You just mirrored my thoughts. Some days I wish I could go back 10yrs and be 16 all over again. The pressure to get married is getting so real but the good thing is that my mum keeps encouraging me to take my time. No pressure, no hurries. After all, its a lifetime commitment.
About responsibilities, thank God for older siblings who come to the rescue. Although, I still do my bit, its bearable.
Honestly, adulthood is overrated. Nothing special about it. 😔

evitainprogress.blogspot.com

WanShyGirl Blog said...

Mehn! Adulting Issa Trap, I was not so eager to grow up because let's face it RESPONSIBILITIES AREN"T SO FUN! Plus don't get me started on you not being able to ask/demand for things *Inserts crying emoji*. It's all part of life though and we can't help but accept it and make the best of it.
There's not much pressure on me right now but *in the Weeknd's voice* I FEEL IT COMING!

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

If only we knew lol. I can relate with you on reasons for inflating your age. I had a lot of older friends who generally looked younger than me in stature but that's the Asians for you. Anyways since people thought I was always older I just went with it. I remember even tutoring a class where everyone was 5years or more older than me but they thought I was older than them lol. Society can be so annoying on this marriage thing. And to be honest I'm not sure how I feel about turning 23,it always seemed so far and old to me back then but look at me now.

Lol I miss being younger but then the independence can feel so freeing and accomplishing at times but those bills and responsibilities tho. What happens when children come in, hmmm.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Lol you'll get used to the Aunty greetings, I was you a few years back. Now I feel so old speaking of this.

Don't be scared. I won't lie it will be tough but it's part of life. With time we all get used to it, we have no choice after all.

I'll be fine I'm sure and we all will too. Thank you, the shoes are always a fav.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Girl don't cry though, it's tough but not as hard as it seems at times.

I like your active approach to adulting, if I had thought like this back then perhaps a few things would be different in my life right now. But hey, you live and you learn.

And I feel you girl, its not fair that we have to be adults for so long but everyone has to do it sadly.

We've got to keep this real you know. Didn't know it came in blue either. I'd love to see how you rocked yours, heading to the blog later of course.

I took up sewing classes during my youth service, got the basics and hope to master it. Working on getting a sewing machines now so yeah I used to sew. Thank you.

Girl that last wish though, don't we all wish the same.

Thank you for reading, love your response. Hope to see you again.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Agreed, although scary it is so promising. I like to think of being relied on as an honour. If they're looking up to you, you must be doing something right. And what is it with Moms always reminding someone of responsibilities, smh

Sheyla hit the nail on the head with that one. Most of us just wing it in this life and thank God for God. Though when you're stuck don't be afraid to admit that weakness and ask for help.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Well you are right girl, all that investment in us was not for nothing. Today my mom simply said I have been waiting from this day especially from you Sarah who cried at everything. So I take it as an honour actually but I'd much rather get my parents something they wouldn't get for themselves. Like take mama shopping you know.

I like how you put it, taking comments as constructive criticism, never thought of it like that.

Not pressured honestly as you rightly said we all have our own pace.

Thank you for this girl.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

You and me both girl. At 17 all I had to do was going to school and ask for money when I needed it. Extra money made was usually for my shopping expenses and other little things.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

All is well indeed and as I always tell my brother who is about your age and my younger siblings too, please take your time to grow up.

And yeah responsibilities are part of life so the sooner the better.

I'm not alone I'm sure and I'm definitely pursuing that dream and having fun.

Thank you

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Exactly girl, we are taught to be dependent on our lives but then one day we are expected to just excel at adulting, like I was not prepared now. It is indeed scary but as you said, we will be fine because we have no choice.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Lol nice to see I'm not alone. I say it's a good thing too, the fact that we learn to be independent and get stuff done. I guess unused to those Aunty greetings, I now even expect it and wait to reply with how are you lol. Share pro tips on dogging marriage questions please. Thank you girl, sadly this was last year so I doubt my skills are still as on point as they were back then but then again this was my first attempt so it wasn't perfect.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

It's important to ignore all those things honestly. And yes we all have our own race so when it's out time, it's our time! Valid point, being single is a period to grow and experience new things. Thank you for stopping by hun

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

If only we could rewind the clock of life to the easier days. It is indeed a lifetime commitment which is why we need to pray and take our time to think things through.

I guess you're not the eldest then, lucky you in this aspect. And yes can we say that again, adulthood is too overrated.

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Lol they definitely caught us in that trap. While responsibilities may suck, its such a feeling of accomplishment when once can handle them, bless God for that. As you pointed out we have no choice when it comes to adulting, I'm sure that we will all be fine. Lol its good your anticipating the struggle so I'm sure when the time comes you'll know how to deal.

Funke Olotu said...

This post is scaring me,lol..
Because I'm still in the phase of adding to my age because everyone around me is older and I don't look my age.
This post is an eye opener, i feel like slowing down now.
Thanks for this, I loved it!

http://olotufunke.com

Sarah Enuwa Audu said...

Don't be scared girl but you should definitely slow down a bit. Glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for reading.

Post a Comment