Sarah Speaks: God, Where are You?

I had wanted to talk about how to style retro vintage shirts or rave about the rare occasion that I wear denim skinny jeans. Talking about my current favorite mustard block mules was also on my mind. But today on Sarah Speaks, I share one of my struggles with you. Keep reading, here goes...
 I had expected God to come through for me, waited even, after all he always did. Year after year, I wrote this one thing down as my prayer request, list after list but nothing. I had expected him to do his thing like he usually does, after all he did it for others, I heard similar testimony after testimony hence I waited.

Waiting turned to waiting and then I got so tired, tired of praying, tired of writing, tired of believing. And as my faith waned as I wondered, "God where are you". Praying became harder, bible reading non-existent. There I was going through the motions, attending church on Sunday, weekly services in between and the usual family devotion but I felt so far away from God. 

 I gave up, thoughts of "why me" kept circling my mind. I gave up and then the anger set in. I was angry at God. It was hard to believe. I knew he was there but I was mad that he didn't come through for me this time. I didn't understand.


Yes I know "his ways are not my ways" but it was hard. Yes I know "his thoughts are not my thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8) but where was God? And then I looked into my own wisdom, relied on me and the human thing to do as well. God, where are you, why me?
Photography by Blessing Audu

It was hard, still hard. Sometimes I doubt my faith even. Writing this makes me sad too but I remember what a friend said.

"So God didn't come through for you this one time, what about all the other things he's done? You have a lot to be thankful for". Which is true but it's so easy to forget all the other blessings and answered prayers when faced with difficult situations and seemingly unanswered prayers. It's a constant struggle with the faith but I'm reminded of this if you only believe in the good times, then where's your faith?

Today I remember and hold onto all the times God had come through for me, and it is indeed way too many, even more than I deserve. It's still a struggle but now I see how silly I was. Now I hold onto Jeremiah 29:11 and wait till he comes through as I count my blessing. 

I decided to share this to hopefully remind someone out there that you're not alone. Keep on believing, it's not easy but if not God, who else then?  Have you been in such a place? How did you handle an unanswered prayer? 

Shirt, Denim: Thrift || Mules: ShopRBJ

Don't be a stranger, talk to me!

16 comments:

  1. Why does it seem like you are talking to me? This is the story of my life right now, I have cried these past few weeks and questioned God like never before but my devotionals last week reminded me of proberbs 3:5-6 and now this. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The holy spirit must be trying to say something I believe. It really is not easy. May God answer us and come through for us. Thank you for reading

      Delete
    2. We just have to keep trusting

      Delete
  2. This resonates so deeply with me at this point in my life. I've asked, I've cried and I have prayed so much I now feel I am badgering God. I'm learning though to let go and let God. I'm also being really intentional about staying thankful for the other things in my life that are going right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I don't feel like I'm badgering God yet oh, He said we should ask after all. I like your approach because being intentional about a heart of gratitude seems to be the only way to go.

      Delete
  3. I am currently believing God for a number of things at the moment. I have been praying and hoping and crying consistently but nothing yet. But every morning, each word from my devotional keeps reminding me of why I shouldn’t stop believing, why I shouldn’t stop pray and why I should keep hoping in him while I renew my ways in him.

    Sometimes, the answers to our prayers are right there but we want quick response and see God like a push button that we can always press when we need something. I’ve learnt in the last few days and I’m still learning.

    This is timely and for all the times God has come through for us, we should continue to believe he would never forsake us now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen to this Debs, this is like an addition to my earlier thoughts. I wish God was always a quick response but I know what the bible says about waiting. It's just that reality has a way a killing the faith but we just need to keep focusing on all our blessings.

      Delete
  4. Princess, thanks for sharing. Most times we just need to be told all would be fine and you just did that. You look good too

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for sharing Sarah!It's still God over everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading Tio, indeed it is.

      Delete
  6. First time in 6/7 years of reading different blog posts and commenting cos this really speaks to me. Am learning to trust God and stay assured in His answers and love for me. Thanks Sara, looking forward to more posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow I'm honoured, bless God that you gained something. Thank you so much. I'm learning to trust him more too, esepcially when the going gets tough.

      Delete
  7. Thank you dear. This spoke to me. Lovely outfit too. Many times we question God's ability to hear or come through for us but He remains to be faithful to us. Trusting God is not easy but we are called to do so because it's the only way we can patiently wait for His promises which are true and Amen to be fulfilled in our lives.

    Stay blessed love.

    ReplyDelete