SARAH SPEAKS: NO MEANS NO BUT...

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Hey guys so can we talk about something?

While I was away, the internet was buzzing with the “no means no campaign following the behaviour of a contestant on one of Nigeria’s hottest TV shows.

Now for my foreign readers, the show is called Big Brother Nigeria and this recent development brought major scrutiny to the show. I actually don’t watch the show as growing up the TV channel was always banned in my house. And then once I got older and was informed of the basic idea of the show my first thought was ''Are you serious? So people actually sit down to watch this on TV?"

Watch what you might ask? Well in my opinion and based on what I’ve heard, the show basically involves adults misbehaving for the sole purpose of entertainment and eventually money.

Now this post is not about the show but about the issue of consent raised during the course of the show. Apparently one of the female contestants was fondled by another male contestant without her consent as she was apparently sleeping. The truth came out once the footage was released and the male contestant was eliminated.

It is unfortunate that in this day and age, consent is still a foreign concept. The interesting and shocking aspect of this entire showdown for me was what various people had to say on this matter. The advent of social/ digital media has really given us a peek into the minds of others.

The above scenarios, I’m sure is just a snippet of what goes on a daily basis in this part of the world. Women or men are sometimes abused and raped without consent. In most rape cases we've seen that the most common question asked of the females is "why were you in his place" or "why did you dress seductively?" Rather than the question of "where is your self-control" or "why did you force yourself on him or her".

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This brings me to my next point, ladies please be aware of the people and places that you hang around and how you dress. Now, I am not saying it’s the woman’s fault for how she dresses or where she goes, but we don’t live in a perfect world. In a perfect world, a woman could walk around naked and nothing would happen but that’s not the case here. And again, I’m not saying our mode of dressing offers security as I’ve heard of cases of fully clothed women who were abused and raped. And sometimes even from close family and friends.

 I’m not even encouraging the abusers, who must learn the concept of self-control but please let us learn to pay more attention and be cautious.

It’s sad really, the society we live in today. However, as enlightened human beings we must continually speak up. We must continually let people know that “no means no.” If the person is not feeling it they are not feeling it!

What are your thoughts on this matter? Does no, always mean no? In your opinion, what other factors come into play in the issue of consent?

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